Scared of parties Scared of ghosts

by Nick seman

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1.
03:04
2.
04:11
3.
03:56
4.
04:03
5.
03:52
6.
01:54
7.
04:15
8.

about

this is for the friends I never made

credits

released May 27, 2016

written, recorded, and produced in ohio
in various apartments at carriage hill
and at mdia vocal booths in athens
and at a home in strongsville
by nick seman from september 2014 - may 2016

artwork by nick seman
cover art processed from photo in athena yearbook 1963

sample on "coward" taken on dc metro red line
sample on "april always ends" taken in west salem, ohio

distributed by stylefire records (stf-009)
(cc) 2016 nick seman and stylefire records

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about

Nick seman Ventura, California

all I hear is 60hz mains hum

robot / floods
ohio / usa

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Track Name: Parties
it's so late
why don't you come home ?
why don't you come home ?

it's so dark
why don't you come get in my car ?
why don't you get back in my car ?

and drive to somewhere we can just lay down and talk
somewhere far from the danger and the zombies on the sidewalk

now we're sunk
I'm so anxious and you're too drunk
all our love and all my luck

and you're not fine
three flights of stairs is too high
back there who was that guy ?

you said that we could move away to the west coast
but now I'm trapped in here alone with your ghost

you came in with a bruise all red on your neck
when I saw you ran out the door
now you are never coming back

it's so dark
you forgot where the car was parked
just spend the night where you are

it's so late
but I don't see you coming home
but I don't want you coming home
Track Name: Washed away
something is wrong
breathe in the smog
I will find you there
if you're still out there

pink is the sky
all your plans went awry
something has to change
but we cannot change

we haven't dreamt
cause we haven't slept
all your dreams were the same
all your dreams fall away
all your dreams fall away

the cycle betrays
cars on the highway
rain starts to fall
the concrete dissolves

nuclear waste
makes bombs and the walls shake
sewers overflow
and poison the snow

we haven't dreamt
cause we haven't slept
all our dreams are the same
all our dreams washed away

all our dreams washed away
all our dreams washed away
Track Name: Salt
you won't smoke cigarettes
you don't talk when I'm talking to you
you look like you're lost and don't know what to do

you don't like when I say it's alright
what I say and what you know is true
are two completely different things

when the flood comes down and washes away all our bones
when the sun comes up and the water flows back to the ocean
the clouds are in slow motion
the weather used to be so clear around you

it gets late
my love why did you break?
the cat is on the windowsill and calling you back home across the night

your poison breaks away your poise
and your thoughts of me are gone
along with all the memories I've built with you

when the rain comes down and clears the salt off all the sidewalks
when the spring has sprung and the water melts out of the snowbanks
we fall through the frozen lake
the winter never was this cold around you

the weather used to be so clear around you
I hope the rainclouds disappear around you
Track Name: Flood
when the drop ceiling caves in after all the people leave
how does it happen ?
no one would have watched it fall

when the broken window rains in as the river slowly swells
water doesn't listen
even when there's someone home

and when you washed away
what went through your head as the river overtook it ?

the floorboards where we lay rotted through decay
even though we both we looking

love was not a mystery to me but you were always so confused
I tried to bring you comfort
but the river brought you answers too

and when I washed away our picture floated by
the current split it down the middle

I saw the clouds above but never broke away
I wish I hadn't been so hopeful

the water took the floor away
and now that I've got nowhere left to stand
what's the next part of the plan ?
is anybody watching ?

the water took our lives away
but the cycle always brings the flood
it's the nature of all love
I really should have seen it coming
Track Name: Coward
you know it's your fault
it's what you're all about
you're so upstanding
you really knock me out
who knew you only cared about yourself ?

I'm sick of your ghost
I dream about you all the time
you're so apologetic
our dreams are such a pointless lie
how do you still come haunt me every night ?

I've seen your pictures
I know you've blocked me out
you know it's your fault
it's what you're all about

you feel guilty so you just repressed me
everything you do is so cowardly
Track Name: Ghosts
when we drove to pittsburgh what did you think that meant ?
we drove for hours to get furniture to put in our apartment
and you said you'd pay some rent

that time you tried to leave me you ended up just coming back
and in that parking spot we cried a lot
and talked about getting a cat
and it felt so good to laugh

I thought I'd want to change my feelings about the things you do
I thought I was scared of parties but I was just afraid of you

and yeah I've been so angry I'm honestly pissed off with you
and when I'm alone at night all these awful thoughts come unglued
I'm fucking sick of you

so let me get this straight then when you talked about marrying me
was it love that spoke or was it just your conscience feeling guilty
well I'd never felt so happy

people say it's not my fault we both know that's not true
so I'm sorry that I was myself I'm sorry you were you

the haunted stories people tell I've always thought were true
but the ghost in our apartment turns out was just the ghost of you

it was just the ghost in you always hiding in the hallway
that weird cold spot in the bedroom
we heard voices in the nighttime knock down photographs I bought you
like the one that says "for god's sake get out!"

I guess you knew exactly what that picture was about
Track Name: April always ends
I'm a lonely kid I don't mean that much to you
I understand it hasn't been that long since I met you

I cling to you embarrass myself at the house shows
you're lonely too at least that's what I'm hoping for

haven't laughed in a long time
I mean really felt the happiness inside
I was trapped I did not try
I really thought back then that I'd gotten it right

I was so great I looked down on everyone
I hated you for everything that I'm becoming

two weeks to go finally found out I blew it
four years ago talking was so terrifying

I was wrong for a long time
I thought I knew myself I thought I had to fight
and there's a lot that I don't like
but as April ends I guess I'll be alright

I sure hope both of us were right